There was no oxygen in my lungs and if my face could prune, the endless sobbing would have taken care of it. Hours dragged but eventually passed, physically there were no apparent signs other than an empty stare and a trail of tears; internally the void was overwhelming, entirely consuming. After there was nothing left, there lingered a question, “How did this get so bad?”.
Let’s take it back to a year before I had to leave an amazing job that was tearing me apart. New promotion, great GPA, great boyfriend, friends, family, and health, or so I thought. All they were, were great things to keep busy and distracted from what was forming within myself. Then, there were more roles, more “me’s” that had to be created for others. I was not breathing and living but was solely functioning to succeed in the many roles I had put myself in. As time went by, daily tasks became robotic, there was no breathing for myself and only myself. Now, that I live and breathe, the signs that were there the entire time stick out like sore thumbs.
Living without fresh air, trapped on a treadmill is not living, these signs may make you realize ‘Just Managing’ is not working anymore and things need to change in order to live and love living, before it’s too late:
001: Daily actions have become robotic
Once life becomes just one motion, it is time to pack up and go on to the next chapter of your life before you drown in those repetitive motions and lose yourself.
002: Healthy boundaries are not consistently being created & enforced
As human beings, we have the right to establish healthy boundaries and to heavily enforce them. Without healthy boundaries, those around you will undoubtedly make sure the role that they have created for you, is well played. Those are boundaries that need to be established for your own well-being. Saying no or saying yes creates and establishes those boundaries; enforcing them is making those boundaries habits and knowing who you are, without budging.
003: Extreme eating & sleeping habits, or lack thereof
It’s easy when we’re young to dismiss crazy eating and sleeping habits, but when there’s so much on someone’s shoulders, it is necessary to eat and sleep well. Not under-eating or over eating or over sleeping or going weeks without at least 6 hours of sleep. Chemicals in your body begin to unbalance, then the body thinks it’s in survival mode. Or maybe the complete opposite, too much food, too much sleep.
004: Abnormal decision making
This ties in with having extreme eating and sleeping habits. Decision making extremely suffers when there is no consistent eating or sleeping habits. Brain and body have to be taken care of and in balance along with its functions and chemicals. Watch behaviours carefully. Is there something truly out of the ordinary?
005: Extreme reactions or lack of reactions
Exactly what it says. If the point where there is no understanding of what normal reactions are or any remembrance of them, TIME TO CHANGE. TIME TO GET HELP.
We are a village, not an island. Isolation takes so much life from within us. Alone time is amazing, but too much of it will only drown the person and life that could be.
007: Always sick
Unstable eating and sleeping habits cause more than just abnormal decision making, but the immune system also suffers causing potential chronic colds and the feeling of always being cold.
Keep an eye on yourself and make habitual changes, the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of others.
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